


Everywhere

by peachykeensunandmoon



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alcohol, Anxiety Attacks, Based on a song, Billy Hargrove Redemption, Bisexual Steve Harrington, Drunken Confessions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Gay Billy Hargrove, Hurt/Comfort, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Idiots in Love, M/M, One Shot, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon Fix-It, Recreational Drug Use, Steve Harrington Has PTSD, Steve Harrington Is a Mess, Steve Harrington Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:46:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23180404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachykeensunandmoon/pseuds/peachykeensunandmoon
Summary: His heartbeat picks up and with a racing heart he returns to renting silly movies and TV-shows. What he doesn't expect is Billy standing there with a long sleeve hoodie and blue jeans, looking at him blankly.“Hey Harrington, um… Do you have any new movies?” He asks just as neutral and eyes him with his striking blues.Steve ruffles his hand through his own hair. He feels too open, he feels like Billy can tell he just had a panic attack in the back room. He feels faint looking at Billy who is alive and breathing and he saved all of them. His heart hurts looking at the other who changed so fundamentally. He gives Lucas and Max countless rides to Steve’s house without having to. He even waits out front when they're in the arcade for hours.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove & Steve Harrington, Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington
Comments: 9
Kudos: 112





	Everywhere

Can you hear me calling  
Out your name?

A week has passed since Starcourt and Steve has been restless ever since. He just can’t sit still. When he picks up Dustin to drive him to the arcade, he drives extra careful now. 

To be honest he is terrified of driving, after crashing into the Camaro at full speed. Doesn't let the kids see it though, in case it worries them. He wonders how these brave kids handle all the traumatic shit they've been through. He for sure can’t handle all the stuff that has happened in the last three years with the upside down and all that. 

At night lying wide awake he looks to his ceiling and doesn't close his eyes, because every time he blinks he sees the contradictory look in Billy’s eyes. Lack of emotion mixed with torturous defiance as if he can’t control what he does. He revs his car and speeds up toward the car with the others.

Nancy holds a gun pointing right at the windshield of the Camaro, not moving an inch. The Camaro speeds up and Steve hears gunshots. 

one. 

Billy probably couldn’t control what he did while possessed by the mind flayer.

two.

Steve need to do something needs to save them all from dying. 

three.  
Billy’s car is going so fast, too fast, the gasoline burning foreshadows the danger ahead. 

four.

Robin looks over at him shell shocked, eyes still glazed over from the residue of Russian injections. 

five.  
six.

Steve grips the steering wheel so hard his hands turn white from the pressure. He starts the car. 

seven.

eight.  
Then he feels the impact with his car spinning, coming to a stop after two turns. He feels the shock and nausea after the collision. Then he comes back to his blue room with his heartbeat in his throat, choking up with tears in his eyes. He should have done better, Billy is in the hospital after saving all of them from the Mind Flayer. He should have noticed and done something. Steve thinks about how wrong he was about Billy every second of the day. With one simple touch he defeated the monster that could have killed the entirety of Hawkins. Just the kind words and gentle touch from a teenager that understood him. And he stopped the mind flayer just like that. 

But Steve has a problem, he can’t remember that night.  
Only bits and pieces come to his mind. He merely remembers sitting in the cinema and watching this weird time travel movie. Robin and him giggling hysterically then sitting in the empty bathroom stall, when Robin told him she liked girls. Most of his memories are as if someone had erased them. Maybe the Russians succeeded in clearing his memory. 

Every time he sees the bruises in the mirror and the red in his eye that just won’t go away a shiver runs down his spine. And his hands begin shaking. 

Now Billy is in the new location of the lab, getting stitched up by scientists who opened the gate to another dimension. He is in a coma as far as Max has told them on a DnD evening before the Byers, Hopper and Jane left Hawkins.  
Most nights he can’t fight sleep overtaking him from exhaustion. The longest he's gone without sleep was right after when everything was over. He didn't sleep for days. Then he slept, but sleep never lasted longer than three hours. 

In those horrid hours nightmares plagued his mind, all consisting of Billy’s screams and the mind flayer attacking his torso from all sides. He always woke himself up from his own screams, always screaming Billy’s name on his chapped lips and cheeks wet from salty tears. 

You know that I'm falling  
And I don't know what to say

It has been three months now since everything has happened and Billy has been out of the hospital for one of those. He’s been getting better and better. Although more withdrawn he still drives Max around to movie night and such. Mostly they get together at Steve’s house, because it is big and his parents are out of town. 

He eyes Billy with worry and uncertainty in case the other doesn't want to be around him for whatever reason. He never knows what to say to him, after he saved them all, sacrificed himself in spite of them hating him. For christ’s sake Steve totalled his car while he was still inside just hours before he saved him.  
Every time they stumble upon each other because Hawkins is that small, its as if something gets lodged in his throat and he can’t speak. So he settles on an anxiety filled smile. Billy returns it rarely, but when he does there is a glint of something behind it, Steve can’t figure out what though. Billy has bags under his eyes and his once golden tan is replaced by paler skin and clothes covering all of him.

A stark contrast to the image he was before. Steve worries, although he has not really spoken to Billy, he sees him retreat from the gossipy society of Hawkins and never hangs around at any high school parties or anything. Steve feels embarrassed to admit it but he still goes, doesn’t feel good about it but still attends for the booze and the distraction.  
Whenever he is in a trashed house full of drunken teens a year below him he longs to see the other, just to talk to him and express everything he hadn't been able to since then. He stands by kitchen counters with pure alcohol in his cup trying to drown out the guilt in his head, the look on Billy’s face before they collided. It was obvious that he felt trapped and wasn't himself, Steve knows it for sure because the wild spark was gone and replaced with hopeless tears running out of the corners of his eyes. 

Ever since that night Steve feels like he goes though his life on autopilot.  
Wake up. Eat. Work. Maybe he’d do something with the kids (meanwhile he’d see Billy and listen to him talk to the kids all calmly and fond). Then lie awake for hours with his mind doing nothing but spin in circles around everything he could have prevented. Then he falls asleep out of exhaustion.  
His scoops uniform with the blood stains remains untouched in the cellar of the house haunting his waking hours. He couldn't bring himself to wash it after Starcourt, still can’t bare to look at it.  
At his new job people come in regularly asking for a horror movie and he has to recommend movies that are too much like his reality with monsters chasing the town. He has to explain but feels faint when he goes on about a plot. He forgets what he is talking about and looses his concentration. 

When Robin noticed she relieves him by explaining which ones are good. She always lets him go to the back where he hyperventilates through the memories. Luckily he catches his breath after some time, but it still feels too constricting and he's back in an elevator. 

And he is falling. Too fast and too high. 

His heart picks up and with a racing heart he returns to renting silly movies and TV-shows. What he doesn't expect is Billy standing there with a long sleeve hoodie and blue jeans, looking at him blankly. 

“Hey Harrington, um… Do you have any new movies?” He asks just as neutral and eyes him with his striking blues. 

Steve ruffles his hand through his own hair. He feels too open, he feels like Billy can tell he just had a panic attack in the back room. He feels faint looking at Billy who is alive and breathing and he saved all of them. His heart hurts looking at the other who changed so fundamentally. He gives Lucas and Max countless rides to Steve’s house without having to. He even waits out front when they're in the arcade for hours.  
After a long pause Steve nods wordlessly and hands Billy the first movie from the box with the ones that are fresh in. 

It’s a chick flick, of course it is. And ironically it stars Rob Lowe who is the spitting image of the boy in front of him. Billy takes the movie and raises his eyebrow. He shakes his head with a weak laugh and continues to ask:

“How much do I owe you pretty boy?” Steve feels his cheeks flush because he still can’t open his mouth, instead he gently covers Billy’s hand with the wallet and shakes his head quickly. He pleads that the blonde won’t laugh at him because he is so awkward and can’t talk. If he did talk he would spill everything that races through his head about the incident.  
When their hands touch Billy’s eyes shoot up at him with a wavering gaze full of questions and Steve’s head feels cloudy and confused. 

Billy clears his throat somewhat uncomfortably and lowers his hand wallet still in it and his hand still covering it. He says goodbye and that he’ll see Steve around. Their fingers are still touching and Steve just looks at him dumbstruck. He nods weakly and doesn't even muster up a faint smile still too shaken by his panic attack in the backroom. Billy is out the door just moments after and he looks at the door even long after he is out of sight. 

I'll speak a little louder  
I'll even shout  
You know that I'm proud  
And I can't get the words out

Steve is at a party that a senior is throwing. He doesn't remember her name, however he ended up throwing up in her bathroom. In the bathroom is a toothbrush and he is too drunk to care how disgusting he is. So he uses it to get rid of the sour taste of bile in his mouth. At the moment it feels more repulsive to go back out there with bad breath.  
He feels embarrassed enough that he even went to this stupid party. His head hurts and the strobing lights and loud music make him dizzy. He knows that he should head home and sleep the alcohol off, knows that he is drifting through life, and that he should clean up his act. Yet he stays in the sea of people completely alone with his worries and thoughts. Robin won’t accompany him to these things and he understands, because high school was shitty for her. He walks down the stairs, and heads back to the kitchen where all the liquor is. 

Seeing his state is getting worse with every watery beer sip he takes, he isn't prepared for the new king of Hawkins strutting into the kitchen, dressed up in a leather jacket showing off, with a gaze wild and glinting like before. 

Before it all happened. 

Steve is shit-faced and the alcohol makes the truth spill out of him like nothing else. For right now though he stares as the other is pouring himself a drink. Rings clinking together while he pours beer into the red cup. He is unrestrained as he takes a few steps closing the gap between the two of them. Billy is surprised and spills some of his drink. He turns his head a little and laughs amused when he sees the mess that is Steve. 

“Billy…” 

Steve looks him in the eyes deeply and sighs after uttering his name. His eyes are glazed over and he slurs the words coming out of his mouth.

“Yeah?” Billy returns the look and croaks out in interest. 

Steve’s face is already flushed from intoxication and he licks over his lips before he continues. 

“I can’t… talk to you, I can-can’t even look at you without feeling like shit…man you' so-so good and you didn't deserve all that. You’re so brave and …” he trails off drunkenly and tumbles on the spot. He lowers his head after realising how he tripped over the words. Somewhere during all that he gripped the blondes sleeve tightly leaning on him for support. 

“a-and I feel super guilty for not noticing and I was so mad at myself that I didn't help you. I got you all wrong from the start. Max told me all… she told me all about your home and how it wasn't really a home -” He hiccups now like you would when you're crying too much.

“She even cried while you were in the hospital I’ve gotta admit I did too.” His voice is getting louder, so he's lucky that they're alone and the music is blaring though every room. 

Billy’s eyes are itching and red. Steve leans on him now resting lulling head leaning on his shoulder. He can smell the stench of alcohol and mint toothpaste coming from Steve. 

“Steve…” a heavy pause is hanging in the air between them filling the silence is muted music and singing coming faintly from the living room. 

“Steve…” he tries again choked up from the confession. 

“I like it when you say my name like that, plea-please say it again you’ve such a nice voice…”  
“Oh my god, how much did you drink? You’re so hammered man lets get you some water!” 

He wrestles his arm out of the drunken grip. He takes a cup and walks to the sink to fill it with water. While he steps away he hears a dull thump sounding like someone fell. And he was right, when he turns around Steve is lying on the ground face flat on the floor. Billy hurries over to him and helps him get back on his feet. However he is heavy like a sack of sand and slips out of Billy’s arms. Billy sighs exasperated and lifts him over his shoulder. 

Outside when Billy is at Steve’s car he sets the other down and asks him for the keys of the Beemer. Steve slurs in answer that they're in his pocket, but he makes no move to retrieve them from his pants. Leaning down Billy shoves his hand annoyedly in his pocket. Steve giggles when Billy fumbles for the keys and touches his thigh accidentally. When he has the keys he removes his hand from the pocket Billy sighs and shakes his head when he says:

“If you're gonna keep being stupid I’ll let you freeze to death, you hear me Harringt-”

“You know my name, so why-why do you use my stupid last name, it’s Steveee, don’ you like my name is that it?” he is interrupted by a drunken interjection.

Steve drags out a childish groan and looks at him with big eyes. 

Something's happening  
Happening to me  
My friends say I'm acting peculiarly

Those damn brown Bambi eyes stare at him intently, he thinks Steve lost his focus and is just staring though him but the other keeps rambling.  
“Seriously Billy…you never use my firs-name, are you still mad about the Byers house thing I swear it wasn't as weird as you think… I swear he whole upside down thingy was the reason, you've gotta believe me… shit I just feel so guilty that none of us did anything to help you before the mall.” 

Billy has no other choice than to put his hand over Steve’s mouth to shush the drunken toddler. He looks at him intently and tells him to get in the car as soon as he opens it, then he says that he's getting the drink from the kitchen and to stay put in the shotgun seat. Billy walks back to the house shaken from all the emotion flooding from Steve’s drunken lips and his truthful eyes spilling with truth.  
It doesn’t help Billy that the brown eyed boy is all flushed from alcohol with his red lips and those eyes, it’s all irritating to Billy, because he thought he knew the other was straight, however his words suggest otherwise. And how did he even get that drunk the party hasn't been going on for long. 

When Billy returns to the car he spots Steve snoring in the passengers seat so he walks over to the drivers door with unsteady feet after the confession from the other.  
He opens the door and Steve flinches backward into the window, eyes wide and hands shaking. Crouched away from the noise of the car door opening and closing and Billy as well. 

Billy sees it in his eyes, he notices immediately what it is, it’s fear, he is petrified and Billy softens at the sight. He hums contemplative and begins to speak softly in a quiet murmur while leaning down a little to get to Steve’s height. 

“Hey…it’s okay…shhh Steve it’s just me…” He quietly talks to the scared boy in the passengers seat and comes closer with each word. Steve is shivering anxiously and a tear rolls down his cheek from the shock. 

“Steve… Stevie, I’m going to hug you now … Is that okay ?” He asks with a careful voice and looks at Steve. The other nods slowly with red rimmed eyes. 

Strong arms wrap around Steve and he lifts his hands weakly to grip at Billy’s shoulders holding him tightly. Then Steve breathes but it comes out in a sob, so brokenly that Billy’s heart aches for the other. He pulls him closer than before.  
So he cries silently in Billy’s arms and it feels like being stuck together after having been broken into a million tiny pieces, he cries about starcourt and that they all might have died if it weren't for Billy, he cries about his parents that didn't even ask about the bruises and the bloody eye and mostly he cries because Billy is just healthy not at all dead like he thought he was that night. 

He clears his throat suddenly noticing how close they’ve gotten in the hug. They are barely a few inches apart and Steve is all red from crying. He sniffles quietly and wipes his eyes with the sleeve of his sweater. His voice comes out thick and emotional from crying so hard.  
He’s defeated and looks at his hands still shaking.

“umm thank you. this is so embarrassingI’m sorryI bet you wanted to have fun at this pa-party… and here I am making even the fun stuff bad, just like I always do.” 

His breath hitches when Billy’s hand just as unsteady comes in contact with his face resting it softly on his cheek red from crying. Steve sighs contentedly. 

C’mon baby  
We better make a start  
You better make it soon  
Before you break my heart

“You wanna know why I came to this stupid party pretty boy?” He gazes into Steve’s puffy brown eyes. 

Steve swallows thickly and shakes his head unsurely. 

“It’s you… ” He hesitates anxiously. “It’s because I wanted to see you and make sure you're okay you dumbass. The kids are worried and I… I worry too. Just don't show it all that often.” He uses his thumb to wipe under Steve’s eyes and he’s way too close for a friend.  
Steve is getting more flushed than before, his pale cheeks lighting up. 

Now he can’t refrain from thinking about how Billy was before it all, always touching him roughly during practice and how he liked it. Liked it too much for a boy. Liked it so much that he had to control himself not to get a hard on in gym class.  
Steve takes a deep breath before he asks something in drunken confidence, throat dry from crying.  
“Billy…what are you doing ?” 

His breath getting more heavy from the tension that built up in the car. He pants out a hot breath and Steve feels it on his lips, breathes the same air as Billy. They're so close Steve almost feels Billy’s lips just by looking at them. 

Billy is just as breathless when he answers in a raw and deep voice. 

“ ‘m not sure to be honest. Do you wanna-”

“Yeah…” Steve answers immediately not even letting him finish the question. Both look on to the trashed house as they drive off the dark road to the quarry. 

Steve tries controlling his breathing and his heart fluttering in his chest. Butterflies fluttering around in his stomach. 

Billy kills the engine and looks at Steve with dark eyes. The radio is playing a song by Fleetwood Mac that Steve will never forget.  
“Come along baby  
We better make a start  
You better make it soon  
Before you break my heart”  
Stevie Nicks calming voice is fading into the background as Steve watches him light up a joint. He asks for a hit, however right when he reaches for the blunt Billy is right in front of him, as close as before.  
Billy looks at him unsure and hesitantly. Steve looks at him bashfully confused. 

“I wanna do it…” His blue eyes pierce right through Steve and he has no time to react when Billy takes a hit and closes the gap between the both of them. 

Soft lips meet Steve dry and cracked ones. Billy is blowing the smoke into his mouth and Steve melts into the touch. He returns the kiss more passionately and throws his arms around Billy’s neck when he opens his mouth and the kiss deepens. He feels high, but not because of the blunt. 

He feels high on emotions, high on Billy’s touch and high on the feeling spreading around his torso engulfing him in a comfortable warmth. 

Everywhere Billy touches him his body tingles as if he’s lit on fire.  
Billy’s hand falls to his waist under his sweater touching his soft pale skin lightly, the other travels to the back of his neck sending goosebumps all over. Every touch is filled with unspoken promises.  
The song on the radio is fading out as they loose themselves in the kiss and each other. 

“Oh I...  
I want to be with you everywhere  
Wanna be with you everywhere.”

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is inspired by the song Everywhere by Fleetwood Mac it's a great song I recommend you listen to it while reading :))


End file.
